Happy Looks Good on You.

 I feel like I have always been a pretty confidant and independent individual. Growing up I was proud of who I was and didn't worry too much about trends and what other's were doing. I always knew I wanted the same for my kids. To be confidant and content with who they were. Move forward to the 21st century and life has changed drastically since I was a little kidlet. I think I didn't care as much because you didn't really know what everyone else was up to, but with social media now a days we always know who has the cleanest and beautifully decorated house, who cooks the best suppers, who goes on the best vacations, and who looks the best while doing said things. I felt a new kind of pressure when I had kids because your kids say a lot about what kind of parent you are. I cared less about myself and put everything into having the cutest kids out there. When McKenna started kindergarten I would dress her all cute and put a headband on her head each day and thought this will be "her" thing. Let me tell ya, she was naturally cute on her own but these headbands took her up a notch.

When I had my first parent teacher meeting the teacher said "I love all her cute head bands, its like "her" thing." I couldn't have been prouder and felt like I had achieved something really big. But what did I actually achieve? It wasn't her thing. It was mine. And what did it say about me? That I knew how to coordinate headbands with any outfit. I had no desire to make it in the fashion world so why was this so important to me? I think somewhere along the way I had lost that confidant and content person that I had always been, and thought that if my kids looked on point all the time that would show the World how great I was. For M's grade one year I started letting her dress herself and something wonderful happened. I cared less about what others thought and how cute she looked, and more about how happy, kind, and respectful she was. And the best part was she was learning how to express herself and was ultimately learning what really was "her" thing.

 A couple years after that I can't even remember the exact situation, but I wanted her to wear something or do something that was more me then her, and I was trying to talk her into it. I must have brought up someone she knew or someone famous to get her to do it, and she said "well that's them, not me." For a moment it was annoying, but then I was super proud. Isn't this exactly what I wanted for her. To be confident and content with who she was. Yes! Its exactly what I want for her. So how do we let go of controlling what our kids look like so that we can look and feel better about ourselves, to instead giving them the power to figure out what they like? I honestly feel like it comes down to missing something in your own life. Maybe you don't feel as good about yourself or you lost something along the way. Having kids does take a lot out of us. We put so much into them that we forget to take care of ourselves. Start doing something for yourself. Something you use to love or put time into a new hobby. Once I started putting more effort into taking care of myself, exercising and eating healthier I started to care more about how kind they were and how they treated others instead of how they looked. which is much more important then looking perfect all the time. I love watching them on this journey of figuring out who they are and what they like. Of course they still need a Mother's guidance on some things but as I give them space and freedom to choose I see their confidence and love for themselves and others growing, and nothing gives me more joy as a Mother.

P.s. I let Hayley dress herself from the beginning.

Yep. Just as cute.