Happy Valentines Day!!

I’ve decided to high jack Kelli’s blog for the day (this is her husband). She always does a great job of writing little blurbs about me and each of the kids on our birthdays and such, but she never gets any mention from the perspective of her family. I’m not much of a writer or an expresser of feelings publicly or privately (although we are working on this) but especially lately I’ve been feeling like she really deserves to know she is loved and appreciated. We’re not usually too big on celebrating days like Valentine’s Day, and this type of thing is probably best suited for Mother’s Day, but this idea popped into my head the other day and I figured if I waited until Mother’s Day to do this then I would probably chicken out, so here it goes:

(I didn't want to get too caught up in specifics but I wanted to record my memories at the same time that I’m writing this for Kelli.)

Even though we were set up for our first date I knew there was something special about her the first time I saw her. It was in a back yard at a friend’s birthday party and I still remember her curly hair, long sleeved black and white striped shirt, jeans and white Adidas runners with pink stripes. I somehow could tell right away who she was even though we hadn’t been introduced to each other and I didn’t know what she looked like. I could tell she was the life of the party, she was running around trying to get everyone to play soccer. It’s pretty tough to penetrate my shell but I felt really comfortable with her right from the start. So much so that when we went for a ride in my truck that first night to get frostys I didn’t feel self conscious about belting out the Filipino music I had playing. I had a feeling from that first night that there was something special about her, and that this was a girl that I wanted to get to know better.

The next several weeks through the summer were a blur of me getting off work and driving almost an hour each way several days of the week to hang out with her. Most weekends I stayed at our friends house so we could hang out more. I started to feel like I wanted to marry her after a few weeks but was too scared to bring it up. The main reason being that she brought up many times that she thought people shouldn’t get married too soon and she didn’t want to rush into it. Haha, once I put my spell on her I convinced her otherwise and next thing we knew we were on our way to shop for a ring. I had really got into dirt biking that summer and was even trying out a bike and had saved up the money to buy it. It must have really been love because I passed on the bike so I could buy her a ring instead!

Something that really impressed me about Kelli was how easily she became a part of my family. She got along with my parents and siblings right from the start (even though the first meeting was pretty intense for her). I hear about other spouses that don’t get along with their in-laws and I’m very grateful that she has a good relationship with them.

I knew right from the start that she wanted to have kids right away and I was so smitten with her that I always replied with a “yes honey, whatever you want” to that and any other idea, request or demand. After a month of marriage she wasn’t pregnant and was very concerned that we would never be able to have kids. That’s something I love about her is she sets specific goals and works hard to achieve them. We persevered through the next two months and finally with a little help from me she was able to achieve her goal of becoming pregnant.

Kelli has always been a hard worker and willing to do whatever jobs she can to help out. I started school that fall a few months before she was due and she was able to keep her nannie job even after she had the baby. I’ve really appreciated over the years how she has been able to find good part time jobs to help with extra income (even though her job working two evenings a week for awhile was a nice break for her from the kids!).

Right from the start she was a natural mom and sacrificed so much to raise our kids, with a little help from me here and there. She has always been very clear about what her expectations were for me as a father and husband, which is good because I had no clue how to raise a tiny human (still don’t most days). I’ve always appreciated how patient she is with me and how she has helped me and pushed me to be a better father and husband. She had amazing role models growing up, and she has always read a lot and developed her own strategies of raising our children as well.

The next few years after the first baby are very much a blur for us. Baby number two came just over two years after number one, and number three came 13 months after number two (oops). We somehow managed to survive through my two years of college and Kelli of course was amazing in supporting me through classes 10 hours a day, studying every night and working every weekend. I definitely couldn’t have done it without her. 

Almost exactly 10 years ago we were nervous and excited to bring our third child in three years, and our first girl into our home. The pregnancy and delivery was a breeze (as far as I remember anyway), but things got pretty tough from there. Seconds after arriving home with a less than 24 hour old baby there was a knock on the door and two detectives informed us that someone had threatened to burn the house down that we were renting. There were two young guys renting the basement suite that were apparently in a “gang” and had crossed someone. This was I think around 10 or 11 at night so we packed up and went to my in-laws house (we were able to return the next day). I remember feeling so bad because Kelli’s mom had not been feeling well and was sleeping on the couch.

Days later we found out the devastating news that her mom had cancer and that it had spread through much of her body before it was found. It wasn’t long before the reality set in that there was nothing the doctors could do and she spent the last few months in palliative care. I remember feeling very inadequate to handle a situation like that. I didn’t know what to say to Kelli or what to do, give her space or coddle over her. Luckily she has always been good at letting me know what I should and shouldn’t be doing so that helped!

The year wasn’t hard enough yet so less than a month after her mom passed away, the company I was working for at the time was starting a large project in Grande Prairie that required me to travel there for a week at a time every other week for the next almost three months. I honestly don’t remember her complaining, I’m sure she did and I wouldn’t have blamed her one bit, but it must not have been very much because I don’t remember her making me feel guilty or anything for being gone so much. I really feel that she new it was a good job, and the travel was only temporary as much as the timing couldn’t have been worse, so she pushed through it and made the best of it. I look back now and I feel bad that I don’t remember thanking her for her support, or letting her know how much I appreciated her for all she did through that time (I really do especially when I look back now).

Throughout the years I see more and more of her mom in her. Her mom was an amazing person and I’m very lucky to have known her. Kelli and I relied a lot on her mom during those first few years of marriage and we were very lucky to have her so close. One thing I admire most about Kelli is that once her mom was gone she was able to take what she learned from her and add her own knowledge and skill as a mother to continue to raise our kids. I don’t think we hardly cooked a Sunday dinner while her mom was alive, but after she passed Kelli started to cook more and more and has become very good at experimenting and trying new things (although our kids would disagree with the healthy meals). I’m very proud of the woman she has become. I know it is still hard for her to not have her mom, and I still feel inadequate in giving her the support she needs when she is having a hard day. If nothing else I can listen and I appreciate that she is willing to turn to me and confide in me.

Kelli is such a positive influence to all our family. She is always writing down thoughts and goals and thinking of ways to better herself and to help me and the kids be better. She wants the best for us and loves to spend time with each of the kids just talking and listening to them. She has always been great at thinking ahead and helping the kids make goals and think about the future and what we need to be doing now to achieve those goals. She is always reading and watching positive and uplifting material to better her physical and mental health. Her hard work is paying off and I love seeing how happy it makes her as she sees and feels the results of achieving those goals.

Kelli has always been very supportive to me and the kids in work, school, sports and activities. The girl’s dance takes a lot of time and effort between classes, extra classes, festival, practice, more classes, stretching and practicing at home, competitions, practice for competitions, honestly I can’t keep any of it straight. I think she enjoys it as much if not more than the girls though and she’s made some good friends and enjoys helping out at competitions and shows. She enjoys watching the boys in their sports as well and I can tell she is very proud of them for how hard they work to develop their skills.

Kelli is very adventurous and has a burning desire to see the world and experience what the different countries and cultures have to offer. I’m too much of a realist and can’t get over thinking how expensive it is to travel. Luckily Kelli has been able to find a way to make our travels work and has been able to talk me into taking some fun trips over the years. I always end up enjoying the trips and once we’re there I forget about the money and just live in the moment.

Kelli is very outgoing and as I’ve mentioned previously is not afraid to let her thoughts be known. She has been working hard on getting me to open up and I think writing this post for her is my first baby step. I really appreciate her determination in helping me better myself, and although she may feel that I get annoyed with her (I think she must get more annoyed with me that I’m so content with everything), I am grateful for this.

I know our kids love her and appreciate her as well and I asked them to share one of the things they love most about her:

Nate – She is very nice and kind to everyone

Ty – She cleans the house and cooks and makes good suppers

McKenna – She’s very nice because she lets me be in dance and she’s funny

Hayley – Loves to go shopping with mom

Well, if you made it this far, congratulations! This turned out way longer than I planned but I had many years of unsaid things to cover. I love you so much Kelli and I’m the luckiest guy in the world to have you. Our kids are so lucky as well, I really do think they have the coolest mom in town. I can’t wait to see what the next 14 years will bring for us!

I know she's already shared these but I wanted to share a couple of my personal favorite photos from Hawaii. She is one hot mama!