I hate the word perfect. No, I actually despise it. I guess it's not the word itself, but the meaning behind it. Growing up I was taught to aim for perfection. You'll never get there on your own because we're human, but you should always be striving for it. I wanted so badly to get as close to perfect as I possibly could. As some of you might guess, this took a huge toll on me because perfection is a myth. It's unattainable and is more about perception anyway, which we have no control over.
I have realized over the years that striving so hard for "perfection" brought me a lot of self-blame. I would think "it's my fault because I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, worthy enough...when I didn't achieve what I was aiming for. There came a time when I felt this way the majority of the time. I was so tired of never feeling good enough that I finally said ENOUGH. I realized that striving for perfection wasn't healthy at all, especially because some of the things I was striving for was someone else's idea of perfection. I didn't even agree with some of these expectations so why was I working so hard to achieve them. Why was I letting someone else dictate how I should live my life instead of following my own head and heart. When you don't live a truly authentic life it rarely goes well.
Once I was able to let go of what was "expected" of me and started living my life how I truly felt I should, this crazy thing happened. I became happy, content, and excited about life again. The world started to look like this big beautiful place with so many possibilities and endless ways to help me learn and progress. I stopped worrying about being "perfect" and started trying to live a happy, healthy, genuine life. I got to choose what was important to me and I actually started to love the messy, unique, and sometimes annoying things that make me, me. Now of course I'm still human, and social media makes it very easy to compare and feel bad about ourselves, but I'm at the point where I can recognize it and can talk myself down from it.
I find that when the jealousy or negative self talk begins, I concentrate on doing things that I love. Playing games with my family, writing, wearing the comfiest clothes I own, chatting with family or friends, getting outside to enjoy nature, yoga, or family dance parties. Something where I can let go, feel connected to myself and remember why I'm awesome just the way I am. And the truth is, you don't need to be perfect (whatever that means for you). Nor should you want to be. Perfect is boring and predictable. Be unique, be different, be you. Feeling the need to be "perfect" or accepted is being human at its very core. Its a journey that will be unique for each of us, but we'll all deal with it our whole lives. But trust me, be yourself and you'll find your tribe, the one's who will love you because you aren't "perfect".
So, what do you do to scare off the perfection and comparison monster when it rears its ugly head? (you can actually answer this in the comments below) I hope you kick them to the curb because you are awesome and beautiful just the way you are.
When I begin to feel depressed about how much I feel like I am letting everyone down, I go back to the basics. I start with what I already know, and remember those times when I have felt peace in my life. I have found that these beautiful moments of peace, carefully preserved in my journal and in my heart, have pulled me through a lot of dark and confusing times. It is the best advice I could give to anyone. I will also say that, personally, I love striving for perfection. The key is to remember, much like you said, your perfection and the road to it might look a lot different than somebody else’s. And so while striving to be all that you can be, you got to take those hard days and reevaluate your goals. Again, go back to the basics, and start from there.
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