Let's Be Honest.

My last couple of posts have been really positive and upbeat and that is truthfully how I choose to live my life. Finding joy and being grateful in all things. But let's be real, we can't escape feeling down and scared sometimes. And all though the first two weeks of our social distancing went pretty smoothly, week 3 started out a bit differently. Monday morning we had a couple hiccups with online school. Things that were out of my control and in the grand scheme of things, not really a big deal. But I found myself feeling so overwhelmed and frustrated and I went up to my room and just lost it. I cried and cried, and then cried some more. I think I try so hard sometimes to stay positive and grateful that I forget some of the unwanted feelings of stress, worry and uncertainty are piling up. I just needed a release of those feelings because I have been feeling plenty of that the last two weeks but just push it down and cover it with all the good feelings. This social distancing is hard. Its hard not to think about and mourn the life we could have been living. Its hard to put your life on hold when it was working out so perfectly. Its hard to be in charge of every aspect of your child's life. It really does take a village, and I am so very grateful for ours. We are missing that village immensely, and I have definitely been feeling the pressure of filling all those roles. And the uncertainty of just how long we have to live like this is crushing at times. So to every single one of you. I feel you. This is hard. It sucks. And even though there have been amazing moments and opportunities with slowing down and reflecting, its okay to admit there are times it is not so great. That there are times that your scared and uncertain. That your not sure how long you can handle this. Sometimes you need to go to your room and just cry it out. If your feelings run even deeper then this then please reach out to someone. There are so many people out there that love you and want to help. Me included.

After I had my moment I came downstairs for lunch and 3 out of 4 kids were also in the kitchen. Right away Hayley was like "Mom, are you okay?" I'm guessing the red, puffy eye's were a dead give away. I told her I was fine and we went on with our day. About an hour later I got a text from her (who was sitting right next to me) that said "I found this on pinterest."

My heart exploded. And she's right. I do got this. And so do each of you. We got this. Because we're strong and capable and because we are not alone. We're all going through this together. And we'll each come out the other side better then we were before. We'll learn hard lessons, we'll learn new things about ourselves and what we really value in life. We'll appreciate what we have and love the people around us more fiercely. We'll slow down and enjoy our homes and families more, and one day we'll look back at that one time a virus swept over the whole World and we had to stay home and we'll be grateful it happened.

But its okay to feel sad and uncertain sometimes. Even mad and frustrated. Feel it, acknowledge those feelings, and then move onward and upward. I found this quote which I think goes along with this perfectly.

 
Love you all and hope you are finding joy, peace, and happiness between all the crazy.

We got this.