My Mom.

Most days I'm fine, great really. I'm really a happy and content kind of person. But every once in a while I get hit with how lonely I sometimes feel without her. There's this big hole that will never quite go away. Today is one of those days. I haven't blogged about her in awhile. Maybe I need to. I think when I start to feel a little overwhelmed with life I really start to crave her. I crave her guidance, her wisdom, her love. I would give anything for a hug from her right now. It will be 8 years in a few weeks. That is such a long time, but the pain never really goes away completely. She was even in my dream last night. I love it when she's in my dreams, but this one was different. I knew she would be leaving soon and I was desperate to hold on to her. She was so special. She had this way of making everyone feel loved and wanted. I never heard her speak unkindly about anyone, and she was always finding ways to serve others. As soon as she loved you, you were apart of her family. I think mine and my siblings break-ups were harder on her then on us. We never fought. Like ever. I always had a deep respect for her even when I was a teenager. She listened and never judged me. She gave me room to mess up and figure things out on my own. After I was married and started having babies of my own some nights I would just show up at her house just wanting to chat and hang out with her. She loved her grand babies fiercely and cherished each moment with them, even offering to change poopy diapers and have them sleepover so I could get a good nights sleep. She loved to cook for her family, played the guitar, loved to dance with her Dad, drink tea and visit with her Mom and her sister, and loved to entertain guests in our home. If you knew her I know it was easy for you to love her. She is my Mom. I miss her.